Sensitive 6 | Hasta La Vista

(part close-to-4/4)

By the slightest thing,

I've been. .

..real sensitive. And what stinks is that I know I shouldn't be tortured with the words or actions I've interpretated into something harsh (Or maybe it was indeed savage?) . Anyway, the point is, the awareness of "I shouldn't be this particular" impared me.

Also, I got clingy . Too clingy. That I loathe myself. Alas, I wasn't able to control the ought to care and to-be-cared so much . I wasn't expecting for reciprocate. But deep deep deep down.. I was hoping.. They would .

Imagine the earth-linkings who wouldn't bother and just glad you're collapsing . Surrounded only by family, and closest same-gender friends my whole age, how could I understand a total strangers panorama and vista ? When people treat you the worst at your weakest..

It's not their fault either. If i were them, I would also felt pretty much annoyed and pissed and just wanted to distance myself from my toxic self. It's common sense. People won't be attracted to negative vibes.

But in this very moment you desire for support. And on the exact moment .. you have none . Well, how could I expect people to get me when I dont even understand myself?

I wanted to be persuaded. Every words became so important to me. Like sorry, thankyou and excuse me. I wanted explaination for every actions. And I wanted some pats and hugs. I wanted to hear "Are you okay?" .. And I wanted to tell them.. "No, I'm not.."

And eventually spilled everything I've kept alone in my heart .

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